About and first post

 Hi, I'm Max. These are my confessions.

The confessions are not going to be safe for work: I'm going to be describing my sex life in graphic detail. I do not condone any of the behavior described. I try to be, but at times I am not a good person. Promiscuity, lying and cheating, alcohol abuse, drugs and unsafe sex are all wrong.

I have recently turned 22 years old but have always known, even before I understood, that I was gay.

The realisation prompted something of a crisis - I come from an extremely religious family, many of whom are involved in the church to varying degrees. My father is particularly vocal about the subject of homosexuality. I have grown up hearing all about the depravity of these people, the perversion, unnatural urges placed into weak people's heads by The Devil, all the while fighting the suspicion, the knowledge, that I was gay. I was betraying Mum and Dad - they were harboring a sinner under their own roof all along.

My Father has quite a high status in our church back home - if what I am were to become public the ramifications would be unthinkable. Maybe that's an excuse? Perhaps I just don't have the guts to say. It's probably a bit of both that forces my closet door firmly closed.

I rebelled against these feelings for years. I've always had an extreme sex drive and spent an angst-ridden youth see-sawing between fantasising about boys to spreading my seed across as wide a spectrum of girls and women as I could, in an effort to breed myself straight.

The immaturity displayed during this period was probably influential in my banishment.

My banishment is what my sister calls my gap year, arranged by my father of course, to a Christian charity organisation in The Philippines. I was not trusted to be sent to university in case I "knocked up some poor girl," instead I was to help teach English skills to deprived community, see the good that The Church and it's teachings were doing, and hopefully learn some decency.

I've grown to dislike organised religion (the feeling is mutual) but to be fair the people there were nice and continue to help a lot of people. I didn't learn any decency - what I did learn was a love for Asian guys, although I never got the chance to act on this.

After a couple of spells abroad getting my head straight I was ready for university, and could assure my patient, loving family that they need not fear the pitter-patter of tiny, bastard (not my description), feet. My virtue was strong - the girls of my university had nothing to fear.

The lads were a different matter.

I arrived at University in a northern UK city in 2020 - I've decided to not specify some details of my adventures as they could narrow down places I go to, people I mention, or even my own identity. I am still there, studying law and male anatomy, one more successfully than the other.

Being on my own caused an outpouring of activity, of liberation. This blog is going to detail all of this sinful behavior. 

I have been writing about my adventures for a few months and sharing them with a small online community. I have found talking about my own sexuality helpful - getting my head around the rights and wrongs of what I've been doing, and figuring out what I enjoy. I also find it extremely arousing exposing my secrets to others, imagining the effect it has on them. I can't thank them enough for their encouragement of this aspect of my sexuality.

I've also shared lewd pictures and art of my body in various places online.

I've found this exposure intoxicating - perhaps it's linked to not being able to openly be who I want to be, perhaps it's my repression finding a way to break free. Perhaps not being able to be who I am to the world at large is causing an over compensation in what I reveal to interested people behind the cloak of anonymity. 

The thought of some random guy masturbating while looking at a picture of my ass, or getting hard reading about my sex life drives me almost as wild as physical contact. I'm hard just writing this post to be honest.

So that's the reason I've made this blog. Writing about my exploits has been a goal for a few months now, and being able to do it more regularly, in shorter spurts will perhaps help me improve. 

I'd love to answer questions or receive feedback - my contact details are posted on the blog.

Max x